Probably Going To Be Another Fifteen Years

As I posted last Wednesday evening, I was heading from Sacramento to the Oregon coast following my grandfather's death. DH was able to arrange to take his week of paid vacation on very short notice to come with me (otherwise, would have taken Amtrak). I was also able to arrange to have next-door neighbor pet-sit.

Well, after a 500-mile drive, turned out there was no service or memorial of any description for my grandfather (which I had not been told would be the case) and my mother found going shopping with someone she knows locally rather higher on the priority list than spending any time with a daughter she hadn't seen in person in fifteen years (in not quite 48 hours, about three hours of contact and I was apparently the only one capable of picking up a phone to find out if we were going to see each other at all), so on Saturday evening (after having arrived on Thursday evening), DH and I headed off to see an uncle of mine about an hour away. We were both getting bad cabin fever and I really resented how low I was on the priority list. Yes, I understand my mother works nights and that she does need to sleep. I do not understand her apparent inability to reschedule outings with local acquaintances or her apparent inability to pick up a phone (or drop e-mail, since I had my laptop along and she knew it) to advise me of her schedule.

Overnighted with uncle and his wife (lovely people, they're great), went to church Sunday morning, ran laundry at uncle & aunt's house, headed home. Arrived 1am-ish on Monday (this is not an outrageous time for a household that includes a swing-shift worker to be up at). After a day or two of recovery, including DH marathoning all six Star Wars movies, we got some errands run and he's back at work tomorrow.

Today was nice, except for a heat wave brewing. DH and I got in a Temple trip, remembered to replace his very beaten-up slippers, and are relaxing at home. I'm looking forward to getting back into my life's normal pattern.

Frankly, it may well be another fifteen years (if then) before I head north again, given how this trip went. By contrast, the last couple of times we've visited DH's family in Santa Barbara, we got a bit more family attention than I felt entirely comfortable with. Would be nice to be able to average the mothers together.

DMIL was evacuated for a few days, and is now back at her place, with the latest wildfire under control. Her gift was delayed until Monday, but I can't fault FedEx for that, since the evacuation got in the way. Pictures of the tote bag will be posted sometime soon.

Glenn Orville Gardner, 19 June 1914 - 6 May 2009

My grandfather passed away this evening, at about 8:30pm Pacific time. He had been ill for some time, and had developed both congestive heart failure and end-stage renal failure.

The last time I saw him in person was in 1995, during my honeymoon. I hadn't been able to travel to see him since, and his health did not permit him to make the trip.

I'll write up a more detailed bio for him later. Right now, I'm trying to deal with travel arrangements. I'm not as bad off emotionally as my mother for several reasons: she lived near him so had more of a relationship to him, she was there when he died, and I have the comfort of the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and that this is only a temporary separation until I pass through the veil. She doesn't have that faith, so is having a harder time.

On top of this problem, DMIL is dealing with a wildfire in the Santa Barbara area. It's not TOO near her house - yet. Also, landlady is having to have the locks changed after she lost a keyring with keys to apartments. Think we could maybe spread the crises out next time?